A Place Still Broken…and a reunion

It was a place in my heart still bro­ken. A piece of my life that I did not remem­ber. What was miss­ing was not just the mem­ory of my friend…but the feel­ings attached to that mem­ory. That was the part that was still bro­ken. And I didn’t even know it. But God did.
That’s the thing I love about God. He heals us each very personally…very directly. And He let me know when He did it. Because our wounds are per­sonal, and the mes­sage that comes with them is per­sonal, our heal­ing is per­sonal. And so it was.

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Amazing Grace


This is some­thing I wrote at a time in my life I des­per­ately needed grace. Do you? For over half of my life I lived in hell. Always reaching…trying to please God. Think­ing if I fol­lowed this rule…or that one that I would finally get God’s favor. And it was free all of the time. Amaz­ing Grace!

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Open the eyes of my heart, Lord

2 Kings 6: 8–20

Elisha’s ser­vant was afraid.  With his phys­i­cal eyes, the task appeared impos­si­ble.  They were sur­rounded.  They were out­num­bered.  “Alas, my mas­ter what shall we do?” (v 15).  In verse 16 Elisha answered, “ Fear not. For those that are with us are more than those with them.” Then in verse 17 Elisha prayed, “Lord, I pray You, open his eyes that he may see”.

Oh, God – help me remem­ber when I feel hedged in, and pressed on by the cir­cum­stances in my life that what I have is MORE than the cir­cum­stances.  Open my eyes that I may see “that they that are with me are more than they that are with them”.  Open my eyes to see “the moun­tain full of horses and char­i­ots of fire sur­round­ing me.” Smote the eyes of my ene­mies with blindness…and open mine.

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God Has Chosen us…We are a treasured possession

I have a jour­nal and as I find things that bless me, I write them down and make notes to myself. Scrip­tures that bless me.. Things to remem­ber….  Things God has shown me.  A lot of what I write is a “con­glom­er­a­tion” of these things.  What I am learn­ing right now is about my great value to God.  I don’t think I ever knew that….that I am valu­able to God.  Most of my life I have spend hid­ing from God.  Or run­ning from Him.  To find out that not only will God “allow” me to have a rela­tion­ship with Him, but He wants to have a rela­tion­ship with me.  He pur­sues me.  He loves me.  This, more than any­thing has changed my life.  Beth Moore says “We act out what we believe, not what we know”.  When we truly believe what God says about our value to Him, our life are dra­mat­i­cally altered.  It frees us from hypocrisy.  The great pre­tend.  “It is eas­ier to act than to clean up our act”.  It frees us from unnec­es­sary fear.  We can be real about where we have been, where we are, and where we want to be.  We are in His fold and we are called His friends.  “Do not be afraid; you are worth more than the spar­rows”.  I love that.  Spar­rows are like the “itchy scratchy peo­ple” of the world. They are not the red­birds or the blue­birds, but spar­rows.  Plain, brown spar­rows.  Not the beau­ti­ful peo­ple of the world, but plain ordi­nary peo­ple like you and me.  My rela­tion­ship with God has changed from hid­ing from Him, to run­ning to Him.  Arms outstretched…boldly…shamelessly.   I can hardly keep quiet about what God has done for me.  You and I are trea­sures to God.  We are His Heart.

“For you are a peo­ple holy to the Lord Your God.  The Lord your God has cho­sen you out of all the peo­ples on the face of the earth to be His peo­ple, His trea­sured pos­ses­sion.” Deut 7:6

 

 

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God can make beautiful things

It is amaz­ing to me how God can take the mess we make of our lives and make beau­ti­ful things.  There is noth­ing we have done…nothing we have become…no place we have been…no mess we have cre­ated that would make God not love us or be too big for Him to fix.  

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The Velveteen Rabbit and Becoming Real

One of my favorite books is the Vel­veteen Rab­bit by Margery Williams.  It is a story about a stuffed rab­bit who is loved by a boy…it is about his jour­ney to become REAL.  Here is an excerpt.

What is REAL? “, asked the Rab­bit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nurs­ery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room.  “Does it mean hav­ing things that buzz inside you and a stick-out han­dle?

Real isn’t how you are made, “ said the Skin Horse.  “It’s a thing that hap­pens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real. “

Does it hurt? “ Asked the Rabbit.

Some­times,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truth­ful.  “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.

Does it hap­pen all at once, like being wound up, “ he asked, “or bit by bit? “

It doesn’t hap­pen all at once, “ said the Skin Horse.  “You become.  It takes a long time.  That’s why it doesn’t often hap­pen to peo­ple who break eas­ily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be care­fully kept.  Gen­er­ally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been rubbed off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don’t mat­ter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to peo­ple who don’t under­stand.

I sup­pose you are Real? “ Asked the Rab­bit.  And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sen­si­tive.  But the Skin Horse only smiled.

The Boy’s Uncle made me Real, “ he said.  “That was a great many years ago, but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again.  It lasts for­ever.

Some of the things I love the most about this book are about being Real…about being loved…and about hav­ing my eyes popped out and my hair rubbed off…and about being Real last­ing for­ever.  For me, most of my life, I did not feel Real.  Nor did I feel loved.  You notice, I said I did not “feel” loved.  I was loved by a lot of peo­ple.  But I didn’t feel it.  That was the mes­sage of the enemy ….that I was unloved and insignif­i­cant.  I kept try­ing dif­fer­ent things to make me Real.   I thought when I got mar­ried I would feel Real.  That didn’t work.  I thought, well surely when I become a Mom, I would finally be Real.  Nope.  Still empty.  So I moved on…I thought maybe I just needed another rela­tion­ship to make me Real.  More money? Nope.  I just kept search­ing.  Then I wasn’t search­ing any­more.  I was out of Hope.  No one was com­ing for me.  And I would never be real.  That is what I thought.  I thought the prob­lem was with me.  But in 2004, when I gave my heart to God, HE made me real.  He gave my life sig­nif­i­cance.  He called me beau­ti­ful.  And my being beau­ti­ful doesn’t have any­thing to do with what I look like on the out­side.  Yes, my hair is rubbed off and my eyes are popped out and I am loose in the joints.  But I am still beau­ti­ful.  The writer of Vele­teen Rab­bit was right in this sense.  “…once you are Real you can’t become unreal again.  It lasts for­ever. “  Thank you, God, for mak­ing me Real.

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Blessings” sung by Laura Story

I love this beau­ti­ful song.  I have had to ask myself before.…Where are you God?  He always answers me in the quiet of night. We want things done…instantly!  We don’t want to wait…we don’t want to go through any processes.  We just want God to “fix it”.  This song is about find­ing God “through” the pain…through the rain.…through the tears of our lives.

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Hello from Leanna

image of flower swirls

Swirls

Hello to all of my friends!  Please be patient.…I am in the process of devel­op­ing my blog and can hardly wait to share my thoughts with you!

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Hello world!

Wel­come to Word­Press. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

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